9.28.2011

Falling in Love (all over again)…

In my last post, which was “years ago”, (yeah I’ve been a bad blogger, more on that in upcoming posts) I shared two words: REFUSE & EMBRACE. I went on to announce a plan to refuse all of the unwanted, unhealthy things in my life and commit to embracing my goals and intent for a better, well-lived life. It’s time to move forward, carefully, thoughtfully, and obviously one step at a time.


(Slacks: Express; Tank(s): Target; Cardigan: Express via Thrift; Shoes: JCP)

Many of us come to the conclusion at some time or another that what we have, how we are living, and/or what we are giving our attention to is simply not cutting it. We look at our lives in search of the fruit of our labors and sometimes come up empty. But the question is why? This is what I had to figure out for myself, just like anyone else who wants to go forth and change.

One of the biggest challenges that I have been faced with is making me more of a priority. When I was single putting me first was easy as pie. Everything was about me, in fact I think I was quite selfish (at least that’s what I heard – lol). However, when I got engaged and then married, everything changed. I began to put any and everything before “me”: my husband, our home, the dog, work, EVERYTHING. I thought that was what I was “supposed to do”. I became an afterthought in my own mind, watched myself disappear into the background and I ultimately lost my voice, my purpose, and the overall vision for my life. I lived like this for a while (years) until one day I woke up and made a decision …..It was time for a change…  


It all started with a conversation I had with God. I asked Him to forgive me for neglecting myself. I asked for the courage, strength, and knowledge that I would need to move get through this rut. I asked Him to help me to find my voice and make my presence known in my own eyes.  That part was easy, but the required work was hard and I had a lot of work to do. It started with figuring out why I felt that I didn’t deserve my own attention; an obstacle like no other, which ultimately lead me to face the deadliest demon of all, a lack of self love.

After realizing that love, or the lack there of was the root cause of the rut I feel into, I began to heal. Things began to get better. I started to see the light; I began to open up to myself and to the world around me. I was able to reconnect and get to know and understand the woman that I have become. It has been an amazing ride and all so worth it.

So today, I am thankful for the season of my rut, if I had not been there, I would not be here – in love! I am in love with the woman who saw the need for change and found the courage to cry for help. I am in love with the woman who is committed to refusing the old way(s) and embracing the new.

SPKH Nugget: You were created in love. You have the right to bask in it.  Give some of it away, and always keep a stash tucked away for you.

Thanks for reading!! 


 


3 comments:

Mrs. J said...

I really enjoyed this post. It great to know that after marriage you still must make yourself a priority. I struggle with that all the time and I'm now encouraged!

Have a wonderful day!! :)

BTW, very cute outfit and I love your blouse!

BrittanyAnne said...

This is such an amazing post..going through a similar situation. Love the blog. Thanks for inspiration. Brittany
www.midweekescape.com

chachamisu said...

I like the cardigan, you look sweet
http://chachamisu.blogspot.com