Falling in Love (all over again)…

In my last post, which was “years ago”, (yeah I’ve been a bad blogger, more on that in upcoming posts) I shared two words: REFUSE & EMBRACE. I went on to announce a plan to refuse all of the unwanted, unhealthy things in my life and commit to embracing my goals and intent for a better, well-lived life. It’s time to move forward, carefully, thoughtfully, and obviously one step at a time.

(Slacks: Express; Tank(s): Target; Cardigan: Express via Thrift; Shoes: JCP)

Many of us come to the conclusion at some time or another that what we have, how we are living, and/or what we are giving our attention to is simply not cutting it. We look at our lives in search of the fruit of our labors and sometimes come up empty. But the question is why? This is what I had to figure out for myself, just like anyone else who wants to go forth and change.

One of the biggest challenges that I have been faced with is making me more of a priority. When I was single putting me first was easy as pie. Everything was about me, in fact I think I was quite selfish (at least that’s what I heard – lol). However, when I got engaged and then married, everything changed. I began to put any and everything before “me”: my husband, our home, the dog, work, EVERYTHING. I thought that was what I was “supposed to do”. I became an afterthought in my own mind, watched myself disappear into the background and I ultimately lost my voice, my purpose, and the overall vision for my life. I lived like this for a while (years) until one day I woke up and made a decision …..It was time for a change…  

It all started with a conversation I had with God. I asked Him to forgive me for neglecting myself. I asked for the courage, strength, and knowledge that I would need to move get through this rut. I asked Him to help me to find my voice and make my presence known in my own eyes.  That part was easy, but the required work was hard and I had a lot of work to do. It started with figuring out why I felt that I didn’t deserve my own attention; an obstacle like no other, which ultimately lead me to face the deadliest demon of all, a lack of self love.

After realizing that love, or the lack there of was the root cause of the rut I feel into, I began to heal. Things began to get better. I started to see the light; I began to open up to myself and to the world around me. I was able to reconnect and get to know and understand the woman that I have become. It has been an amazing ride and all so worth it.

So today, I am thankful for the season of my rut, if I had not been there, I would not be here – in love! I am in love with the woman who saw the need for change and found the courage to cry for help. I am in love with the woman who is committed to refusing the old way(s) and embracing the new.

SPKH Nugget: You were created in love. You have the right to bask in it.  Give some of it away, and always keep a stash tucked away for you.

Thanks for reading!! 

 

Two words........

It's a wonderful day for a blog post!! I'm back and feeling better than ever. Boy oh boy what a little rest and relaxation can do for the body....Look at that smile - whoa!!

(Multi-Colored Tribal Tunic & Necklace: Forever21: Chocolate Brown Skirt: The Limited- so old; Shoes: 9West- Not pictured) 

Today I woke up with two words on my heart and I thought I'd share them with you today:

REFUSE & EMBRACE....

Yeah I know, where did that come from and why are they on my heart so heavy? I have no idea, but there's always room for speculation. I think it is a message, not just for me but for someone out there reading this blog.

If you're anything like me, sometimes you find yourself trying to be everything to and for everyone, while leaving yourself with a little bit of nothing, if anything is actually left. Don't get me wrong, it is okay to try and please those around you and become what you need to be for those that you love. However, what's not okay is giving so much of yourself until evey bit of you is gone. Or even worse, becoming something you aren't for the sake of making other people happy. Both situations can do nothing but rob you of who you are and even worse, rob you of who you really want to be. They can lead you down a path to emptiness. Empty to the point where there is nothing left of you to keep YOU moving in the direction that you're intended to move towards.

Another way to look at this is allowing yourself to become burned out or turning into something that you're not, and honestly, who needs that?

What better time than now get off of that rotten path and start a fresh? Today is a new day, another chance to get it right or work towards what's right. It's the perfect day to save just a little bit of you for you, to invest in your hopes and dreams... So what do you do with these two words? Well I don't know about you, but for me:

• It is time to refuse to be the last item on my list or better yet, missing from that list.
• It is time to embrace my dreams and desires and live life to the fullest (what I define as the fullest).
• It is time to refuse to continue to contribute to any type of personal pain or unwarrented stress.
• It is time to embrace a way of life that can contribute to pure joy and happiness.

 Yep, what a message for hump day! Hope you have a good one!!

A Simple Confession and Outfit Post (Yikes)…..

Okay-okay-okay I’ll admit it: I need a new look. I’m not sure “new look” is the appropriate catch phrase here maybe fashion overhaul is better. Who knows, but honestly I need a makeover and I need it FAST (a play on the cheesy J.G. Winsworth commercials)!! *snickers*

Exhibit A: Dreadful + Boring + Basic

 

 
 

I know, I know, there's so much wrong with those photos: bathroom camera shots, blurred vision, wrinkleage, let's not even talk about that animal print. Yikes, I don't believe I'm doing this..."smh" - I told yall that it was DREADFUL!!!

 

Here’s the scoop:

Truth be told I’m one of those people who have a lot stored in the closet, but can never find anything to wear. Yep that’s me. I mean I shop all of the time, yet it often feels like I’ve gotten nowhere when it comes to my wardrobe. I have become the woman who stands in her closet with a dazed and confused look on her face for hours trying to put something together. Often times (okay even more than that) I’ll wear something that I have worn who knows how many times and repeat it until it’s worn out….. I know how dreadful is that? Seriously?

Now the ironic thing about all of this is that I have always been “fashion forward”. I’ve been a go to for many friends and even current co-workers ask me for advice. I sometimes think to myself are these folks serious or is this some kind of hint to get myself together.

You see, in my younger days I wasn’t afraid to take risks nor was I afraid to rock the current trend or hairstyle. But, sometime, somewhere I lost the zest for my personal fashion and style. Don’t get me wrong, I have some hits when it comes to outfits, but a lot of times (especially on the weekends) my look is a total MISS and who wants to be a walking SnoozeBall? Not me.

So lately, I’ve found myself trying to pin point the breaking point. I’m not sure if it had anything to do with me getting older or what, but I’m certainly not the lively little fire cracker who would take a risk, or two, or three… *snickers* On another note, I think I have a plan so pinpointing what, why, and how may not be necessary at this point.

They say that the first step to a fashion recovery is admitting that you have a problem… So I confess: I haven’t been too “into” my personal style but I’m going to work on it with the help of this blog and random blog stalking (lol – that sounds a bit too creepy). Okay, okay, I won’t do any creepy blog stalking; I will just continue to get inspired by the wonderful women who share their personal style with the world, while I muster up the courage to put myself out there.

I hope that this process will assist me in being released from of this fashion rut and allow me to learn to become more fearless when it comes to my style and dress.

Thanks for reading & Have fabulous day!!!

xoxo